How To Make The Best Of Celebrations
Do you find that celebrations can be a source of stress as well as joy and connection? If so read on to find out how you can make the best of celebrations.
Personal And Community Celebrations
Celebrations are times people get together to mark a transition, to commemorate a past event or to raise awareness. These rituals can unite people at a global, national, community or family level.
For most celebrations there are simply expectations on what needs to happen, the role each individual should play and generally the presents people should bring. Life, however, rarely works according to plan. That is why weddings, funerals, births and birthdays can be disappointing, and sometimes even traumatic.
For example I recently read in a magazine that the 17th October has been celebrated as the International Day For The Eradication Of Poverty. This week as a country in Turkey we are celebrating 94th anniversary of the Republic. At the same time our daughter is turning 14. Our relatives in the UK are celebrating their first kiss:) This month, Diwali, a religious Hindu festival is also celebrated in many places around the world as an expression of respect to the heavens for the attainment of health, wealth, knowledge, peace, and prosperity. Of course, this is also the month of Halloween originated with the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain, when people would light bonfires and wear costumes to ward off ghosts.
Why Celebrations Create Stress
In some cultures celebrations, such as festivals, denote times when people cast aside their inhibitions and behave in ways that might otherwise be considered unacceptable. Just thinking about this is enough to put many of us into a head-spin.
But for most celebrations there are simply expectations on what needs to happen, the role each individual should play and generally the presents people should bring. Life, however, rarely works according to plan. That is why weddings, funerals, births and birthdays can be disappointing, and sometimes even traumatic.
There is an expectation that we get together for special days. These times are supposed to celebrate the unity of nations, communities and families. But when we get together, as well as expressing unity, unresolved conflicts often come up.
Paradoxically, celebrations probably have their roots in tribal life where they acted as a kind of group-therapy aimed at healing such difficulties. The ancient Hawaiian ritual Ho’oponopono, for example, has its roots in a tribal cure.
Prepare For Celebrations
Here is what you can do to make the best of celebrations at least at the family level:
1. Think of the people you are celebrating a transition for; who are they, what they like, what they would appreciate in years to come about this day?
2. Ask them what they need for the day to be meaningful for them
3. Ask people in the family how they would like to contribute to make the day a positively remembered one.
4. Forgive yourself for any ill will, or bad actions you have expressed toward others. Be prepared to be reminded of unfinished business from the past, and accept hostility and coldness as the expression of the other person’s pain, and possible misconceptions on both sides of the schism.
Happy Republic Day! And a very happy birthday to our daughter!
