Virginity And The Myths About Hymen

We know that female virginity has been the focus of human kind for centuries and a lot of men and women have suffered around this subject. What is more interesting however is that the culture, tradition and society’s need to control women seem to override the acceptance of scientific information. I will share with you the two anatomical myths about female virginity that should make us rethink our traditional practices.

Virginity And The Myths About Hymen

Even though medical communities have been aware that hymen cannot be used to prove virginity for over a century, women’s human rights are still regularly violated through institutionalized degrading virginity checks.

Myth 1: Hymen Bleeds Always The First Time A Woman Has Vaginal Sex

Hymen is not the proof of virginity because it does not break and bleed the first time a woman has vaginal sex. Hymen has different degrees of plasticity for each woman; so much so that half of all female’s hymens of the world never break despite a healthy sexual life. So they do not bleed at all. Medical communities have known this for over 100 years.

However, in patriarchal communities when there is no blood the first night of the marriage, women are questioned for their virginity, mistrusted and shamed for life or even killed. Sadly honor killings over the female virginity still continue.

Myth 2: Virgins Bleed And Hymens Are Lost Forever

Hymens do not necessarily bleed and they are not lost. So there is no way of determining a women’s sexual history other than asking her. This myth has been disproved at the beginning of 20th century when a sex worker’s examination revealed that her hymen appeared to be intact. In another study with pregnant teenagers, the doctors could only see clear signs of penetration in two out of thirty six girls!

Sexual Dysfunctions Often Are The Result Of Institutionalized Trauma

There is no magic seal that disappears after sex. Half of the virgins can easily have sex without bleeding. Therefore hymen can’t be used as a proof of virginity.

However women’s human rights are regularly violated in the majority of the world through degrading virginity checks to obtain a job, to save their reputation or to get married even though virginity status cannot be assessed through vaginal examination.

This violation seems to be institutionalized or supported by authority figures. For example, in Indonesia woman are systematically examined to enter military service. Young girls all over the world, even in countries like Norway continue being examined by doctors to reassure their parents of their daughter’s virginity.

It is not surprising that most of the girls are afraid of ‘ruining’ themselves through sports, tampon use or sexual activity.

You don’t see many animals with sexual dysfunctions. However in our human communities there are far too many. Impotence, frigidity, vaginismus , premature ejaculation, loss of sexual desire and others are often associated with our approach to sex and especially to virginity.

Somebody once said: ‘When you have sex you think other things, when you don’t have sex all you think is sex.’

The oppression of women is sustained through men and other women who have internalised the dominant culture. Ultimately both men and women suffer; creativity and productivity of societies decline.

In patriarchal societies the way manhood is constructed in terms of proving oneself and overcoming challenges creates by definition a very insecure person. Becoming a man, being part of the group of men require disowning their feminine aspects, blocking the expression of valuable emotions such as vulnerability , softness and even in some occasions compassion.

Even though deconstructing these myths about hymen alone cannot solve the problem of cultural and religious control of women’s sexuality, at least one of the tools used to control men and women will be removed.

We can hope to achieve a more radical shift when sex and virginity are not such taboos, the young people are treated more respectfully, are brought up with consciousness rather than fear and we can nurture our female and male aspects equally.

Attribution-Share Alike 2.0 Generic (CC BY-SA 2.0) image: Peretz Partensky

Irem Bray

İrem Bray is a graduate of Bosphorus University Department of Psychology and London University Institute Of Psychiatry. She sees life as a journey of reciprocal discovery and opportunity to share gifts. She develops projects which, starting from the uniqueness of the individual, transform the society in a circular way. She works with her team, using the latest technologies, to train family therapists, and conduct sessions with people throughout the world, especially with Turks and those associated with Turks, to improve systems such as individuals, couples, families and companies. You can now contact İrem and her team at [email protected] or 0090 538 912 33 36, 0044 738 7763244 Contact her at http://irembray.com

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