Can You Improve Your Self-Care?

What is your relationship with yourself like? It is important to investigate the answer to this question because it will influence how good you are at self-care. You may not even be aware that you are neglecting yourself. Here are some guidelines about how to go about improving your self-care without falling into selfishness.

Self-Caring Versus Selfish Actions

Self-care gets a lot of bad press because majority of people mix it up with selfishness. In fact selfishness is a totally different concept. There is this tendency to call people selfish when they are true to themselves. What is really selfish is when we act at the expense of another person, taking their interests and wishes for granted. This person could be even your own self.

Where is the boundary between self-care and selfishness? If your motivation for an action is keeping the peace and being loved you have a problem.

This is against your integrity. Some tend to busy themselves with addictions in order to compensate for this situation.

It is the opposite of self-care.

A healthier affirmation might be ‘As a free and sovereign person I choose to…’

Depending on your culture you may be labeled ‘selfish’ for following your heart’s path or for wanting to be taken care of.

Whichever culture you live in being true to yourself is the most important principle to adhere to in life even if it is perceived as selfish by other people.

Are You Lacking in Self-Care?

If you suffer from an illness, had traumatic experiences or involved in an accident you should seriously consider if you are lacking in self-care.

Here are some areas you can evaluate yourself with self caring answers next to each:

• Do you smoke, drink or take drugs on a regular basis? (Self-caring answer is no)
• Do you exercise regularly in a respectful manner to your body? (Self-caring answer is yes)
• Is the percentage of junk food versus fresh / alive (not refined) food in your diet more than 10%? (Self-caring answer is no)
• Are you feeling energetic and alive? (Self-caring answer is yes)
• Are you happy with yourself? (Self-caring answer is yes)
• Do you like yourself? (Self-caring answer is yes)
• Do you enjoy being alone by yourself without falling into addictions? (Self-caring answer is yes)
• Do you take unnecessary risks while driving or elsewhere? (Self-caring answer is no)
• Are you ashamed of your sexuality and try to hide it? (Self-caring answer is no)

Better Self-Care

Our priority must be to look after our body, mind and soul. Unless we are truly well we cannot be fully available to life and others. Nobody can do this for us and there are no legitimate excuses that justify us disowning this responsibility.

I love the story of the sage who was asked to prove his miracle. He said he would rest when he is tired, he would eat when hungry and stop eating when full.

Here are some inspirations to help improve your self-care:

1) Ask yourself which of your specific thoughts, beliefs or actions reflect self-care and choose to replace those that do not.
2) Reevaluate your habits, replace any self harming ones with some that are self-caring.
3) Research and adopt few of the many self-care methods under stress, such as breathing, pacing and observing.
4) Prioritize your self-care over what you assume your loved ones wish and need.
5) Always stay loving and compassionate towards yourself.
6) Accept yourself as a sexual being with desires, choices and boundaries.
7) Fine tune your boundaries by clarifying where you say yes and no, and exercise them.

Attribution 2.0 Generic (CC BY 2.0)image:Sean Loyless