‘The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz – Learning A Simple Code Of Life From Toltec Wisdom

Don Miguel Ruiz is born and raised in Southern Mexico.  He comes from a Toltec lineage of healers.  The Toltecs were scientists and artists, carriers of knowledge, keepers of the traditional spiritual knowledge and practices of their ancestors.  Even though he was expected to follow the family tradition he chose to study medicine, became a Western healer rather than a Toltec one.  He worked as a surgeon many years until he had a serious car crash which turned his life literally upside down.  He went back to his family’s original teachings.  Following a rigorous training and apprenticeship he became a ‘nagual’.  A nagual in Toltec tradition is a guide for personal freedom.  Since then he concentrated his efforts to fulfill this role. This week I begin to summarize one of his influential books ‘The Four Agreements’ in which he offers a code of life.  He translates his ancestors’ wisdom into practical concepts you and I can relate and be inspired by.

The World According To Toltec Tradition

According to The Toltec view science and spirit are part of the same entity; all energy comes from and is governed by the universe.

Don Miguel Ruiz explains how we are in a common dream with our minds being awake; a dream that includes the whole world, made up by man-made constructs handed down from one generation to another.

Don Ruiz describes the process he calls the “domestication of humans”.  As a child, we are inducted into the ways and rules ‘everybody’ agrees. The better we follow these agreements the more we are rewarded.  If we go against those agreements, we get punished. Over time we learn how to satisfy others and seek their approval; we become self domesticators, judging our behaviors based on the rules of society.

According to Miguel Ruiz, using this process, we create hell on earth where we keep punishing ourselves over and over again.  We do this because we are led to believe we are defective in some way, imperfect, not enough according to the social rules.  Many believe that education cements such beliefs firmly in many people.

New Agreements To Break Self Domestication Cycle

In order to achieve autonomy and personal freedom you need to start with awareness of thousands of agreements you have made, with your family, with the society, and especially with yourself.  These agreements dictate who you are, what you can and cannot do.

We are born with personal power which gets renewed when we rest on a daily basis. However we allow our personal power and energy to dissipate by the agreements we created, and as a result we feel powerless.

Only when you realize that any fear based, judgmental ideas you live by are not true can you dare search for your own new and empowering agreements.  Then you may live a life of joy and fulfillment, claiming your personal power and creating a better reality for yourself.

The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word

The first agreement Ruiz suggests is being impeccable with your word.  It sounds really simple, doesn’t it?  Yet it has the power to transform your world from hell to heaven.  It is the one that is most difficult to honor.  Words are not mere symbols or sounds, they have creative force we often take for granted. It is through words that we think, we communicate and create the events of our lives, manifest our world.

What does being impeccable with our words involve for me?

• I take responsibility for my actions, whilst at the same time I don’t blame or judge myself.
• I choose my words to speak well of people as they are seeds planted in the consciousness. They first become beliefs then reality.
• I know that emotional poison of gossip and criticism will sooner or later return to the person uttering it, blaming and judging others is no different than blaming myself. Therefore you would not hear me talking negatively about anybody.
• I speak with integrity, I mean what I say, I don’t imply.
• I tell the truth to myself and others even when it hurts.

Here is a quote from the Don Miguel:

“One agreement you can make is to treat yourself with respect.  Introduce the agreement of self-respect, and tell the voice in your head, ‘It’s time for us to respect each other.’  Many of the judgments will end there, and most of the self-rejection will end there, too.  Then you can allow the voice to talk, but the dialogue will be much better.  You will have all of these great ideas, these great dialogues in your head, and when you express them to other people, they will love what you are saying.  You will find yourself smiling and having fun, even when you are just by yourself.”

This agreement reminds me of the words of Mahatma Gandhi:

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”

The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally

Not taking personally is the second agreement Don Miguel offers us.  We only take personally when we agree whatever was said may be true at some level.  We allow to be poisoned.  This is like opening the gate to the dream of hell.  When we take something personally, feel hurt, and make the assumption that the other person knows what is in our world, and we try to defend our world in their world.

When I follow this agreement and adopt as a habit:

• I drop my personal importance; I am not the center of the universe.
• I know deeply that praise, anger, envy, insults, judgment or blame directed to me are not a reflection of who I am.
• I perceive what others say about me as a reflection of their emotional state at that moment. In other words they are projecting their own reality, their own dream.
• Therefore I am free of the need to be right, to defend or to convince anybody.
• I am responsible of my own actions, not ever of other peoples’.
• I have very clear boundaries.
• I experience less and less anger, envy, sadness and jealousy.
• My suffering eases as I feel more and more liberated from the opinions and actions of others.
• When my friend says I hurt her with my words I know that what I said touched a wound and that she hurt herself.
• Even though my reason may not be aware I know my mind sees and perceives without my eyes, and my mind lives in more than one dimension. I allow the ponderings of my mind to pass through me.

Not making assumptions and always doing your best are the third and fourth agreements.  I will elaborate on them in my next post.  In the mean time I hope you will give yourself the chance to experience the freedom that comes from adopting these first two agreements.  Maybe you will want to have and enjoy Ruiz’s beautiful and simple way of putting these concepts together. If so it’s available in many book stores, including on-line at websites such as Amazon and Barnes and Noble.