How To Stay Calm Under Stress
We are faced with stressful situations all the time. Many people react to these by either getting out of control with anger or withdrawing in a sulking mood. They tend to blame something or somebody. They feel victimised by the whole situation. Either way the result is unhappiness. There is another way: To act with equanimity when under stress. Here is how to stay calm under stress.
When your boundaries are threatened you show your punch with a very severe face. Next minute you return to normal. You show your position before you are invaded. The image ‘Showing Your Punch With Tiger Eyes’, a Chifusion move illustrates this well.
Anger and Sulking Indicate Boundary Problems
First let’s get a good definition of the problem. Getting out of control with anger is a sign of a helpless person. When anger is one of the most common emotions in a person, or family, it is likely that there is a boundary problem.
If you feel your parents were unable to fulfill their role you are likely to find yourself looking after your sibling. As a result you are taking on responsibility that does not belong to you, which could explain your short fuse.
If you get angry when you hear your mother say: ‘You are a failure, you will never change’. You would be letting her words limit your ability to choose, on the basis of your past actions.
Sulking is a passive way of showing you are angry; in this sense it is like the other side of the exact same coin. They are both the result of leaky boundaries.
Healthy Boundaries Under Stress
There are two images of healthy boundaries I would like to share to help you stay calm under stress.
Imagine there is a transparent protective layer surrounding you. This layer is semi-permeable, your bodily cells are. Like our cellular system, we can let nourishing information pass, whilst toxic, unhealthy news we keep out. When you heard from your mother say’ You are a failure, you will never change’ you know she is not making a nourishing comment. You cannot do better than to leave it outside your protective layer.
A Chifusion move ‘Showing Your Punch With Tiger Eyes’ is also an image that inspires me to represent how a healthy boundary can be like. When your boundaries are threatened you show your punch with a very severe face. Next minute you return to normal. You show your position before you are invaded. In this way a real punch, which is like getting angry, is rarely required.
You stay calm under stress by only accepting nourishing content into your system and by showing your limits before you are aroused because they are compromised.
There are tools and techniques that can help you to act before you are compromised. I may share these with you in future videos.
