How To Make The Best Of Working As A Couple

There are several types of family businesses. Often one or more family members collaborate and start a business. If it becomes successful the younger generation and extended family members are naturally pulled to the business. However in this post I am writing about a special case of family businesses: Couples working together and how to make the best out of working as a couple.

Harmony Between Couples Lead To Miracles

I often say that when a man and woman can exist in true harmony they create miracles. In systems theory we say the whole is bigger than the sum of its parts. Obviously creating babies is so common that sometimes we take for granted what a miraculous event it is. Succeeding at working as a couple is the next stage. It is difficult to imagine how your life may change when you achieve harmony as a working couple too…

Working As A Couple For 20 years

I can tell you something about this from my own experience. Even though I helped many couples solve problems working together, the most important resource for me to write this post has been my own experience. My wonderful husband Stephen and I married in 1996 and have been working together since I graduated from University of London, Institute of Psychiatry in 1997.

Here is what I have learned and what I suggest for you to make the best of working as a couple:

• Respect each other’s individuality, give each other space for self expression.
• Recognise weaknesses and strengths, support each other to develop as opposed to expecting beyond their ability which leads to disappointment and a cycle of criticism.
• Develop and review regularly the work related and personal visions.
• Failures on the way to success is a rule rather than exception. Therefore don’t ever give up on your visions.
• Develop healthy habits together. Look after your couple bond as well as your health, kids and business.
• Socialise with non-work related people.
• Create responsibility-free times and places you share together. Remember to include fun in all aspects of your life.

Unusual Challenges

The past two years have been particularly challenging. The U.K. Borders Authority have prevented me from visiting my family in England, because they think I may want to live there permanently.

This hasn’t deterred us in our ability to work together. Instead we are doubling down and using the Internet to expand our reach into new areas.

Stephen started mentoring others, as well as me, through his new business Stephen Bray & Co. Where once he was simply providing the back-end of my practice, today he reaches out to others and my business benefits from this because his network of experience is wider.

Having a U.K. based business has enabled us to offer our daughter a different standard of education, and for us to spend nearly half the year together in Turkey.

It would have been very natural to cave in to the pressures U.K. Borders have placed upon us as a family. But, the suggestions I offer above prepared us well for this new challenge. Rather than stepping backwards they have propelled us forwards.

Today, Stephen and I are, if not closer, far more competent than either of us could have imagined when spending all our time under one roof. We have become an international family, with professional connections in many countries. We receive invitations from different countries.

Strangely, we note similarities in our lives even when in different locations. Our water systems needed a plumber’s attention in two countries during the same week. The weather, sometimes, seems uncannily coordinated and, of course, we find ourselves inspired by similar things.

Every family will have to cope, from time to time, with unusual challenges. Perhaps unusual challenges is even the wrong expression?

These include health issues, infidelities, enforced separations, and life cycle challenges such as births or the death of a parent.

Business partners experience additional stresses, when working together. At first it seems so idyllic but working together in a family business demands that all the eggs are in one basket. Unlike couples whose members are employed, where if one partner is laid off the other can still pay the bills, a family business failure is devastating to everyone and the family as a whole suffers.

It’s this pressure that can, sometimes, cloud the original vision. When this occurs couples spend too much time discussing the business and not enough out in the world enjoying themselves.

If you have experienced any of these kinds of difficulty, and perhaps have tips for others, I look forward to hearing your experiences of working as a couple.