New Year Resolutions For A Better World
For several years, around this time, I’ve put out an e-mail to my subscribers that provides some guidance about how to achieve goals during the coming year.
This is, after all, the time when many of us make New Year resolutions.
The advice in those mails still holds good for personal resolutions, so I will include it below.
But, I know that for many, 2017 became a year of surprises, especially when looking out at how global events are unfolding. Terrible bombs are going off in our cities that are aimed not only to maim and kill military personnel, which would be evil anyway, but also to injure ordinary folk like you, me, or our children.
World economies fluctuate, and it seems the innocent everywhere are blighted with unexpected natural disasters and others.
It’s of little surprise to me then that many have difficulty in keeping our resolve in the face of such terrible challenges. Why should we make resolutions if the world always seems to work against us?
The answer is, surprisingly, simple – and it applies to all people, whatever their nationality, ethnicity, or faith. It’s even true for agnostics and atheists who have set themselves apart from religion.
If we knew that 2017was going to be our last year on this planet how would this change your New Year’s resolutions?
You either want a better life, or you don’t. In a ‘dog eat dog’ world you and your children will always have to look over their shoulders because the person walking down the street nearby could be one of the evil-doers. You will have to hoard what little food or money you have for a rainy day – but no matter how much you hoard there will always be the worry that it’s not enough.
There will always be fear.
But the moment we were born to this earth we were doomed to die. Some of us have already outlived some of the great and the good. Many of us are doomed to lingering half-lives in bare hospital rooms, our bodies impregnated with tubes as medical expenses drain our bank balances. For others the end will come more rapidly, as automobile collisions, gunshots or stupid accidents.
Whatever our circumstances, death stalks us, so although I never advocate seeking it out, let’s not fear it – but rather use it as our advisor.
Let’s say this coming year, 2018, is to be our last on this planet. Suppose this wasn’t simply a concept – but rather a certainty? How would this change your new year resolutions?
Would you really set the goals of giving up smoking, or losing a few kilos? These are pretty feeble in the face of universal doom.
Would you worry about being fashionable, shopping for the latest branded items, or reading Vogue and Harpers?
Some of you would, and I applaud, and if you are one of these, I applaud you for choosing to die in the spirit in which you chose to live.
But, even for such as you, I suspect such activities wouldn’t be the priorities.
Most of us would wish, and some even pray, that our impending disaster could be averted. So let’s start there. Then we would be grateful for every single day that the sun rose bringing us this wonderful life – so let’s do that too!
We would want to make amends with those we feel we may have wronged. That can’t be such a bad idea either. It enables us to leave this life with clear consciences.
So far, so good, but wouldn’t we also be willing to take any action we could, no matter the risks or possibilities of failure, simply to attempt to avert our crisis even if the odds were stacked so hugely against us?
Wouldn’t we be prepared to risk all in order to gain all?
The act of living is the act of giving. The act of taking is the act of dying, at least as far as the psyche is concerned.
Taking is different from receiving, by the way, in a doomed world we would always find ourselves grateful for small gifts and mercies. It’s the act of taking from others, due to aggression and dishonesty, which diminishes us.
A wise man once said: ‘So many people fail to achieve anything in life because they use the floor rather than the ceiling when they set their goals.’
So, before getting into your specific personal resolutions for 2017 why not look at the global, impossible goals where you think you have no influence.
If you want a stable world for the benefit of your family – then write that down.
If you want to live in a healthy community, write that down too.
It doesn’t matter if these aspirations are way beyond what you believe you can achieve, because I guarantee that at some point, and maybe more than one, there will be some small action you can make that will help.
Now, write down the other attributes you would like to see coming to fruition in a better world. Make time, and do this carefully because I am asking you to take some responsibility for bringing these about.
How To Achieve Your Personal Goals
If you’re serious about improving your life, here are some tips on keeping resolutions that will help you:
- Call A Family Meeting
If possible make your resolutions as a family. Keep track of what each family member proposes and write down their resolutions. Keep all your resolutions together in a place where the whole family may have access to them, such as on a notice-board in the kitchen.
- Create a Plan
Setting a goal without formulating a plan is merely wishful thinking. In order for your resolution to have resolve, (as the word “resolution” implies), it must translate into clear steps that can be put into action. A good plan will tell you:
- What to do next and
- What are all of the steps required
to complete the goal.
To set a specific goal you must answer the six ‘W’ questions:
Who: Who is involved?
What: What do I want to accomplish?
Where: Identify a location.
When: Establish a time frame.
Which: Identify requirements and constraints.
Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
EXAMPLE: A general goal would be, ‘Get in shape.’ But a specific goal would say, ‘Exercise 3 days a week.’
- Create Your Plan This Week
If you’re like most people, then you’ll have a limited window of opportunity during the first few days of January to harness your motivation. After that, most people forget their resolutions completely.
It is imperative that you begin creating your plan immediately.
Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of each goal you set.
When you measure your progress, you stay on track, reach your target dates, and experience the exhilaration of achievement that spurs you on to continued effort required to reach your goal.
To determine if your goal is measurable, ask questions such as:
How much?
How many?
How will I know when it is accomplished?
- Keep To The Task When Planning How You Will Achieve Your Resolutions.
We all like to avoid facing our issues. It’s common for people to treat planning change as a joke, as a means to avoid taking action. Rather than allow your life to slip away check the following
aspects of your goals.
You can attain most any goal you set when you plan your steps wisely and establish a time frame that allows you to carry out those steps. Goals that may have seemed far away and out of reach eventually move closer and become attainable, not because your goals shrink, but because you grow and expand to match them. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.
When you, or others, treat your goal setting as a joke you, or they, are really making a comment about how they see you, and your place in the world. Don’t let joking-doubt get the better of you!
- Write Down Your Plan
Commit your resolution and plan to writing someplace, such as a notebook or journal, so you can keep track of how you’re doing.
Be realistic, a goal must represent an objective toward which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. But be sure that every goal represents substantial progress.
A high goal is frequently easier to reach than a low one because a low goal exerts low motivational force. Some of the hardest jobs you ever accomplished actually seem easy simply because they were a labour of love.
If your goal involves the co-operation of another person then be sure to communicate clearly your expectations, and so bring them on board.
- Think “Year Round,” Not Just New Year’s
Nothing big gets accomplished in one day. Resolutions are set in one day, but accomplished with a hundred tiny steps that happen throughout the year. New Year’s resolutions should be nothing more than a starting point. You must develop a ritual or habit for revisiting your plan.
A great way to keep goal plans on track is through regular family meetings and reviews. Through them you can all contribute to the success of others by making suggestions, and co-operating with what others are seeking to achieve.
- Set time limits
Rome wasn’t built in a day, but it didn’t take centuries to dig its foundations. Every step of your goal must be set in a realistic time frame.
If it’s your goal to get out of debt a first step is to decide a realistic a date by when you’ll be completely debt free. Pay off your small debts first, because these are most probably the personal debts you’ve run up with family, friends, and people who most want to help, but can least afford to lend.
I hope that this e-mail helps you to formulate resolutions for the New Year that are right for you, and also our troubled planet. Even if there seem to be dark days ahead, keep up your resolve, hold on to your faith, never lose hope, and take each day at a time as you allow your life to bloom and spread your influence.
Irem Bray, Consultant Psychologist and On-line Therapist
Photo:Stephen Bray
